SOUND
(Seducer Part 12- Chapter 43 of Senses)
"Ladies and Gentlemen, members of the press, we give you Jason Edwards, Lee Emanuel, Jim Christopher, and Rex Yamaha. Blue Shift!"
A disembodied voice introduced the band at the press conference, which was also a first listening party for their new material for the members of the press who were attending. The four men walked onto the stage in front of the gathered crowd, either sat behind instruments or strapped them on, and then Jim launched the beginning of "Secrets", the first single from the new album Pleasure and Gain. Lee had a new keyboard setup so that he could handle the horn section part, and they extended the song to let Jim put his guitar down, let Lee take over the bass on his keyboards, let Jason jump to guitar, and Jim displayed a previously undisclosed talent and played a saxophone solo.
After the song was over the band launched into "School Marred", a Jason Edwards composition that pushed his vocal ability to its limit. After that song, they launched into Jim's "Terror of Love". When the last chord rang out, they all walked away from their instruments and sat at a table that had been brought onto the stage when they finished playing.
Once they were seated Jason said, "Any questions?" He pointed to a reporter in the first row. "Let's start with you."
The reporter stood. "Mark Hamilton from Rolling Stone," he identified himself. "Do you see this album as a step in a new direction musically for the group?"
"I'll take it," Lee said. "After a fashion, we do. It's more an expanding of our play list. This is the first album we've done with a horn section, and Jim plays saxophone for the first time ever on one of our albums. Next question. You."
A reporter in the third row stood up. "Leslie Jacobson from Billboard," she said. "How do you feel about being selected as the headliner band for the Moscow leg of World Aid?"
"Honored, of course," Jim said.
"We plan to go skiing while we're there," Rex added. "We hear it's cold."
After the general laughter that came from the press another reporter stood. "Kevin Anderson, Option Magazine," he said. "Tell us about the upcoming tour."
"What's to say?" Jim asked. "We're going to play a lot of shows all over the world. Let's talk about World Aid today."
"That's why we're all here," Jason added. "Blue Shift's major tour will not be a stadium tour, and that's all we're going to tell you for now. It will come in a month or so, after Moscow."
"The important thing is that we're raising money for the world's homeless," Lee said. "It's a big problem that we all face, whether we want to admit it or not. This is a step to hopefully address a part of the problem and raise money. Next intelligent question."
A reporter in the fifth row stood up. "Considering some of the stunts planned for World Aid," he started, "such things as Phil Collins repeating his transcontinental jaunts from Live Aid, the rumor that Julian Lennon will be joining Paul McCartney in Europe - you get the idea. Any surprises planned for your leg of the show?"
Jim laughed. "If we told you it wouldn't be a surprise, would it? There probably will be. Phil Collins isn't playing with us when he gets to Moscow, that's for certain."
"Want to start a juicy rumor?" Rex asked.
"Love to," Jason said.
"Word has it that there will be a Velvet Underground reunion in Moscow."
To the gasps in the room Lee added, "We have not heard from any of them, so this may be pure fiction. Jim met Lou Reed once when they both lost Grammy bids..."
"It's true, I did," Jim said.
"But as I was saying, this is simply a rumor. We just made it up."
"If you are irresponsible enough to print it," Rex commented, "it's on your head. Next question."
"Next rumor," Jim added.
A reported in the back of the room stood up. "Logan Musberry, The Inquirer," he said.
All four men groaned. "This one's for you," Jason said, looking to Jim and smiling.
Jim looked at the reporter, raised an eyebrow, and grinned. "Give it yer best shot," he said, imitating a Texas drawl.
"You've been all over our paper recently," the reporter said.
"And your paper has been all over the bottoms of bird cages. Continue."
"You're normally a fixture, but lately you've exceeded our grandest expectations. Care to comment on your relationship with Raven Rameriz?"
Jim stared at the reported quizzically. "You've never been to one of my interviews before, have you?"
The reporter shook his head no.
Jim laughed. "Rookie," he replied. "Her name is Angie, not Raven. You psychos gave her that handle and it doesn't fit."
"Nevermore, nevermore," Rex said. Most of the room chuckled slightly.
"Quoth this," Jim replied, holding up his fist.
"I'm married," Rex replied.
"According to this member of the press that's never stopped me."
"True. I'll think about it."
"I practice safe sex, after all."
"I said I'll think about it."
The reporter's jaw had dropped in bewilderment, while most of the other reporters were chuckling at the reporter's expense. Finally one of them said to him, "You'd best get used to it. Jim has a reputation for embarrassing reporters who ask questions he doesn't feel he should answer."
"Don't clue the rookie in," Jim said. "You all had to learn the lesson too, so it's his turn. Besides, I actually plan to answer the question.
"Angie Rameriz is a good friend. How good is my concern. However, as a public figure I do feel that I have responsibilities to my public. Let me state for the record then that she's not my favorite. Karen still is, and will remain so. As far as Ms. Rameriz is concerned, if you can't handle the fact that I've been seen in public in the company of more than one woman, go fuck yourself."
"Well..." the reporter started.
The Billboard reporter laughed. "Sit down you poor excuse for a journalist," she said. "Next question."
There was a loud crash at the back of the room as the door to the conference room crashed down off of its hinges. The door fell into the room, and A.J. Christopher ducked through the doorway and walked into the room. He wore a leather jacket, spandex pants, and in his left hand was a half-empty bottle of vodka. In his right hand was a full bottle of Bushmill's, which he lobbed at the press table. Jim caught it with ease and drained the bottle into his mouth.
Even the reporters in the room who had seen this sort of thing before were awe-struck. Only three public figures in history could ever drink like Jim did and the third, Andre the Giant, had passed away at the end of 1992. Every reporter in the room furiously scribbled notes.
Meanwhile, Jason had stood and called out to A.J. "Hey big guy," he said.
"Hey little guy," A.J. responded. He took a long swig from the bottle he still carried. "Sorry about the door."
"It's all right," Lee said. "It's not ours anyway."
A.J. smiled. "Fair enough."
Jim sat the empty bottle down on the table, then reconsidered and tossed it to the Inquirer reporter. "Hey day A.J.," he called out. "Come to crash the conference?"
A.J. nodded. "That I have. Shall we tell them?"
"I will. Ladies and rented men, we do have a surprise for you all after all. A.J. will be joining us for the Moscow show."
There was a sound like a mix between a bad diesel engine and a room full of snakes while the members of the press exchanged words with themselves about this announcement.
Jason laughed and held up his hands for silence. "You heard correctly," he said. "A.J. and Jim Christopher will be on the same stage for the first time since the R & R Project was canceled. We will be performing a double-length set. One half will be devoted to Blue Shift material, while the other will be devoted to the work they have done together."
"That ought to send the price of tickets through the roof," Rex added. He also stood. "In fact, I have two tickets right here I'm willing to scalp."
Again there was scattered laughter in the room, which in turn started up a mock bidding war for the tickets. Rex withdrew the tickets and sat down when the asking price reached $15,000 each, saying that he had decided to have them framed instead.
A.J. joined the others at the table, and the press conference resumed.
Question: "Jim, with the solo albums that are about to come out, three in all, don't you feel that your audience is going to overdose on you?"
"There are worse things to O.D. on," Jim replied.
Question: "Jason, are there more films in your future? We've only seen you in one to date, which was received well..."
"And to be honest," Jason interrupted, "acting is just as cut-throat as music is. I've only got one throat."
Question: "Lee, when your solo album came out there were rumors that Blue Shift was breaking up. Have you ever thought of leaving?"
"These bastards?" Lee replied, pointing to his bandmates. "Never. Besides, that was when Jim and A.J. were working together, and you didn't ask him the same question."
"Careful, they might ask it next," Jim said.
Question: "A.J. would you comment on your recent stay in jail?"
A.J. just shook his head.
Question: "How does it feel to be an adulterer?"
The Inquirer reporter had asked that question of Jim. Jim frowned at the reporter, then smiled his ironic smile. "I'm not married. Neither are my partners, alleged or otherwise. No crime, gumshoe."
The reporter then said, "A follow up then. How does it feel to be a murderer?"
Jason, who had returned to his seat when the questions had begun again, shot out of his chair. "You fucking moron," he said.
Lee just shook his head. "Jason, sit down," he said. "Stupidity is deadly. This little fuck just hasn't learned it yet."
A.J. and Rex were both staring at the reporter, who was starting to turn red. Even most of the other reporters were shaking their heads.
Jim was still smiling. "I'm not mad guys," he said. "Thanks for the defense though. Your name is Musberry, right? Well, Mr. Musberry, I don't know how it feels to be a murderer. The events in San Francisco that caused a man the loss of his life were regrettable, but were in self defense. Again, no crime. However, if you don't adopt a more civil tone, I'll allow you to discover what it's like to be a murder victim."
The reporter gasped and turned white.
Jim leaned back in his chair and raised an eyebrow. "Did I scare you? Well, I have no intention of harming you physically. Actually, I find your mix of psuedo-christian values and Allen Funt psychologically disturbed, and a bit funny. However, you've crossed the line of what even a man like me will take, so you can answer to your fellow reporters for your fuck up. Folks, this interview session is over. Blame him."
The others at the press table nodded in agreement, and stood as one to walk to the backstage area while the other reporters started arguing with the Inquirer reporter. As he passed the curtain going backstage Jim could tell that the fighting was getting heated.
Once backstage Jason sighed. "We didn't do that one too fucking well," he said.
"Not entirely our fault," Lee said. "The asshole that confronted Jim is really to blame."
"I know, but this is supposed to be about World Aid, not us. As far as that goes, we didn't succeed. Shit!"
"Would you rather we go back out there and face that fuck up?" Rex asked. "We put on a united front. That's part of what our work and our friendship has always been about. If any one of us says the conference is over, then it's over. This time it was Jim's prerogative and face it, he used more restraint than any one of us would have. If it were me I would have punched the fucker's lights out."
"Listen to us," Lee said. "The least vulgar man in the room right now is Jim." They all laughed at that.
"I'm the vulgar one around here," Jim said. "you slimy cum bubbles. You try to take the champ's crown and I'll have to very fucking well exert myself." He sighed. "Fact is, we did get off track. Sorry guys."
A.J. held up his hand. "I have a solution," he said. He walked back out to the stage.
From their position backstage, they heard A.J. mutter something to the room, and then what sounded like protesting, followed by a crash. After a moment A.J. returned backstage. "That's better," he said.
Jim looked at his brother quizzically. "What did you do?" he asked.
A.J. smiled. "Nothing," he protested. "I simply announced that if the other reporters would like to continue the press conference, we would agree if the fuck up was removed. They removed him."
Lee laughed aloud. "It'll be nice to do a show with you," he said.
"You're welcome," A.J. replied. "Shall we go back out there?"
"Let's," Jim said. "And let's go drinking afterwards. We won't see you guys again until we land in Moscow."
"Deal," Jason said.