TOUCH
(Seducer Part 10- Chapter 41 of Senses)
Jim always referred to the process he used to record his material as "going to ground". What that basically meant was that no one was to disturb him while he did his magic in his home recording studio. He would usually emerge to the rest of the world a bit dirtier, unshaved, and with a triumphant look on his face that told the world "I've done it again".
In the meanwhile, Karen would ordinarily have been somewhat lonely in the interim, especially as Jim was working on three albums simultaneously. However, she forced Angie to take some time away from the lab she and A.J. were putting together for the "special project" the two women had planned on working together on.
Karen drove Angie to the office she maintained in Redondo Beach an hour early, so that they could talk about what they were about to do first. They sat in Karen's office, Karen in her armchair while Angie paced around the office looking at the diplomas and the surroundings.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Karen asked. "I mean, this was my idea, but I won't force you."
Angie didn't answer at first and for a moment Karen was certain that she wasn't going to answer at all when Angie finally said, "I'm sure."
"I know this must be difficult for you," Karen stated.
"Ordinarily I'd say that no you don't, but with you it's possible that you really do understand."
Karen smiled. "Well to be honest, I don't think you're any more fucked up than anyone else in this little group. We've all had some strange things happen to each of us that should have left us as basket cases. A.J.'s jail term, Jim killing my ex-husband, you get the idea."
"That's not what I meant," Angie said. "For one thing, you're female. I've met very few men who really understood what it's like to be female in our society. You know, the looks, the gossip..."
"We're supposed to be our own people and slaves at the same time," Karen replied, "while the men are supposed to be our partners and our masters at the same time. One guess as to which group gets the worse end of the deal."
"That's right. And there are certain parts of the role that are desirable, even necessary perhaps. But no man can really understand the kind of abuse that was normal for me in my household as a child. No man can really understand the loss a woman would feel upon losing a child the way I did. There's a bond between mother and child that no man will understand."
"I believe you," Karen said, "even though I've never been pregnant myself."
"Are you two going to have children?" Angie asked.
"Someday. We'd like to have a better idea about our skills before we pass them on to another generation."
"Sound thinking. Anyway, I've only met one man who I've felt could understand the problems a woman faces, and I've only just met him, after all."
Karen smiled. "How are you two getting along?"
"Just fine, but I don't think it's going anywhere, despite the fact that I am attracted to him. He's just too damn nice at times. Not at all like I pictured him considering his brothers."
Angie sat down in the chair opposite from Karen. "In fact," she continued, "if it wasn't for his personal appearance, I would never guess that Larry is a Christopher brother. Thing is, he's so smart, especially compared to Jim and A.J."
Karen nodded thoughtfully. "I've only met him a few times," she said. "And he's always been able to surprise me with his thinking. Do you know he keeps files on human behavior?"
"I've seen them," Angie responded. "He thinks they'll help with the research we're about to do."
"Has he been a help with the lab?"
"Indeed he has. He's given me some tips in setting up the readings we'll need to use, and I've given Scott some additional instructions regarding the programming he's doing. Larry's thought of things I never would have."
"Such as?"
"Something as simple as video cameras, for example. He also gave Scott a program incorporating something he calls 'numerology waves'. I get the feeling that he knows something that we don't."
Karen laughed. "He does. Remember that Larry is the guardian of the secret equation that made A.J. lose control of himself. He probably has a reason for the things he does."
Angie nodded. "Probably. I'm going up to San Francisco this weekend to see if I can needle some information out of him."
"Good luck. He can be unbelievably tight-lipped when he wants to be."
"I'm also going to see if I can get some sex out of him."
Karen coughed a laugh.
"Do you realize how frustrating it's been?" Angie asked. "I mean, I work on Jim for nearly a week and don't get him, then I get thrown to his double and he hasn't let me touch him yet. Can he be that blind to the attraction?"
Karen had stood up and walked to the small water cooler she kept in her office. As she poured herself a glass she said, "He's never that blind. He's probably trying to figure out what he's going to do himself. He probably won't make the first move though." She drank down the water and laughed. "You'd better."
"I will," Angie said. "At first I thought that he was attracted to that fortune-teller he employs, but I know she's dating someone else. I know because I asked her."
Karen returned to her seat. "Well, also remember that Larry likes being something of an enigma. That's probably this first reason why he won't make the first move. Listen, I know full well the need for a good fuck from time to time. Go for it."
Angie smiled. "That's your professional opinion?" she asked.
Karen nodded. "It is," she replied.
"Why aren't more shrinks like you?"
Karen laughed. "I'm going to change the subject on you," she said. "The first of them will be arriving before too much longer. How ready for this are you?"
"Not ready at all," Angie admitted. "I don't think I'm all that good of a role model."
"I'm not asking you to be a role model, Just to let these girls know they're not the only people in the world to go through this kind of thing."
Angie sighed. "I know, I know. This is a support group, not a therapy session. How do you handle it? I mean, given the empathy and all, wouldn't dealing with other people's emotional pain be draining?"
"It used to be," Karen admitted. "As recently as a year ago I couldn't do this kind of work. Living with Jim has allowed me to bring my sensitivities down."
"Your man," Angie pointed a finger, "is the most vulgar man I've met. Aside from the physical, how do you stand him?"
Karen smiled again. "I'm a lot like him," she replied. "And I need him as much as he needs me. Like I said, I can do this kind of work now."
Angie let out a breath. "Abused children," she said. "I've seen a lot of them in my short life, and every time I see myself reflected in their eyes."
"You're scared," Karen noted.
"Terrified," Angie replied. "I've rarely talked about my own experience. I'm not certain of how this can help, either them or me."
"By letting them know they're not alone. Teenagers have the roughest lives out of anyone. Do you remember the depressions, the uncertain explorations, the feelings you had when you discovered that you weren't immortal? Add to that that these girls have been raped by members of their own families, and you have a bunch of isolated and confused people. The most important thing to do is share yourself with them."
"It won't be easy," Angie noted.
"It's not supposed to be," Karen replied.
Karen's intercom buzzed and her receptionist announced that the first of the girls had arrived. Karen took in a deep breath and then let it go. "Here we go," she said. "Ready?"
"As ready as I'll get," Angie replied.
Afterwards, Karen and Angie went to the bar on Montana Avenue to recover from the rigors of the group session they had just run. Karen called it a success, but both women were drained from the experience.
On their arrival, they found a table and the bartender brought out a Bushmill's for Karen and a strawberry daiquiri for Angie. Karen said, "Thanks Mike," while Angie said, "Thanks Joshua."
The bartender smiled and looked at Angie directly. "You're part of their crowd now," he said. "You can continue to call me Mike." The bartender didn't await a response and walked away.
Karen chuckled and sipped her drink while Angie simply stared. "That man," Angie said, "is one of the best friends anybody could have. Paul's right, he's the perfect bartender. Why do you call him Mike?"
"Long story," Karen replied, "and Jim started it. The short version is that the name is from a piece of fiction by Spider Robinson."
Angie shook her head. "Never heard of him."
"You poor under-educated person. Don't you read Science Fiction?"
"Nope. First book by a 'master' of the genre that I ever read was by Robert Heinlein. I got turned off from it pretty quick."
Karen looked puzzled. "Heinlein can be quite good," she said.
"I agree, and his characterizations are impressive. However, good characterizations, even of his female characters, doesn't justify comments about women asking for rape nine times out of ten."
Karen sighed. "A valid point. I'll admit that Heinlein's not a good example then. Most writers aren't like that even if they do admire him. Spider is one of these."
"You're not convincing me."
"Tell you what. I'll loan you the first book from the series. Jim must have five copies of the damned thing. If you don't like it I won't force any more of them on you."
"Fair enough." Angie sipped her drink, and noticed that Karen was already half-way through hers. "How do you do that? I mean, I know you like whiskey, but how can you drink it that fast?"
Karen laughed. "You get used to it," she said. "Besides, hanging around with Jim will build up anyone's tolerance of alcohol, although that doesn't explain me. Truth is, I could always drink like this. When Jim and I first met I think he was impressed that I could keep up with him for the first five rounds."
Angie whistled low. "You're lucky," she said. "The more I see you two together the less I can picture you apart. It's like you two are meant for each other."
"A.J. refers to us as symbiotic."
The bartender returned unbidden, and poured another Bushmill's for Karen. He also brought out a second glass and left both it and the bottle behind at the table.
Angie looked at the bartender as he walked away. "How did he know..."
"That you wanted to try what I'm drinking?" Karen asked. "He's just that good. To be honest, you've got some wear and tear written on your face. Understandable after the session today."
"You said a mouthful," Angie replied. "I don't think I've cried so hard and laughed so loud in my life. Are all your sessions like that?"
"No. Thing is, most of these girls have not met any adults who have been through what they have been through. Sometimes they need to see that, because they now know on at least a subconscious level that their experiences are survivable. That little piece of knowledge sometimes makes all the difference in the world."
Angie sighed and sipped her drink. "I guess so," she said after setting the drink back down again. She paused for a moment then said, "This was for my benefit too, wasn't it?"
Karen nodded and refilled her glass. "It was," she replied. "It helped, didn't it? You've kept this little horror of yours inside you for some time now, and I gave you a way to deal with it constructively."
Angie admitted that this was so. "Still, I never thought I'd have some head shrinker use her skill on me the way you did."
"You're starting to cope?" Karen asked.
"Starting," Angie responded. "I think I'll still go through some rough nights and rough nightmares, but I think I'll live through it all now."
"That's the idea, and it's normal. No one recovers from a rough trauma like the one you've had with a snap of the fingers." Karen snapped her fingers for emphasis. "It takes time. I once met a Vietnam vet in a wheelchair when I was a student and I told him I thought he was brave for accepting his disability as calmly as he seemed to. He responded that 'I met this chair with remarkable hysterics but I'm coping now'. That phrase, which I have since seen in a cartoon strip, has always stuck with me."
Angie laughed. "I've seen the comic strip now that I think about it," she said. "So you managed to make the support system of your little therapy group work both ways."
"That's what I intended."
Angie sighed and poured herself a Bushmill's, then sipped the drink. She made a face of disgust. "I'll learn to like it?" she asked.
"Did you like coffee when you first tried it?" Karen asked.
"Yes, I did."
Now Karen looked disgusted. "Bloody mutant," she comment. Angie laughed.
After a moment Angie tried another sip and managed to cough it down. On the third try she gave up and passed the glass to Karen. The bartender appeared a moment later and brought out another strawberry daiquiri. Angie said, "Thanks Mike," and the bartender gave a wink before walking away.
Angie returned her gaze to Karen. "Mind if I ask you a personal question?"
"Go ahead," Karen replied.
"Have you slept around? I mean with men other than Jim since you two met?"
Karen raised an eyebrow. "Odd question," she said. "No, I haven't. Neither has Jim. You were the closest he's come to being unfaithful to me."
Angie shook her head. "Jim has the reputation for sleeping with anything in sight. At least he used to. I'm amazed that he didn't come down with some venereal disease or AIDS during all that time."
"Jim's past doesn't concern me. I wasn't exactly a virgin when we met either."
"It did concern me," Angie said. "I'll let you in on a secret. I thought he did have AIDS."
Karen frowned for a moment. Then realization hit her. "You mean that your attempt at Jim was some weird method of committing suicide? You were actually trying to get AIDS?"
Angie nodded. "I'm not proud of that, but it's true. I'd been trying for a while. Because of my own experiences with the tabloids I knew the stories they printed fairly well. I also knew that Jim actually confirmed some of the stories about himself that have appeared there. I saw how much he used to womanize and how much he drinks now and added two and two together. Thing is, I got nineteen when I should have been looking for twelve. I thought he drank to drown his own sorrows."
Karen shook her head. "Boy did you jump to the wrong conclusion," she said. "Is this why you use your skill at all?"
"Yes, for a while now. I never caught the disease, so my attempted suicide failed."
"But AIDS is such a horrible way to go. You felt that bad about yourself?"
A tear came to Angie's eye. "I did," she said. She took a moment to regain her composure, then said, "I don't anymore." She looked straight into Karen's eyes. "Perhaps someday I'll even think of myself as a doctor again."
"You're welcome," Karen said. "From all of us."
Angie nodded, then drank her drink in four long swallows. When she sat her drink down, she spoke again. "Your man is a special one," she said. "Don't let him go for anyone, not even me." Angie smiled.
"I won't," Karen replied.
"However, that doesn't mean that I won't try again."
Karen laughed. "You little shit," she said. "You can't take my man from me. Not you and an army just like you."
Angie laughed as well. "Okay, okay! Just a comment, nothing more. Am I at least allowed to be jealous?"
"I'll consider it."
Angie stuck out her hand. "Fair enough," she said.
Karen shook her hand. "Now that that business is out of the way, are you up for a game of darts?"
Angie frowned a mock frown. "Are you as good as Jim or A.J.?"
Karen smiled a sly smile. "Well," she said, "I have been known to beat them from time to time."
Angie shook her head and smiled. "Oh shit, I'd better practice more if I'm going to keep up with you people."
Karen nodded. "That's right, you'd better."
Angie stood up. "Are you willing to teach me?"
Karen stood as well. "Certainly," she said.
"Then let's play."